Day 69

It was meant to be a run day, but there just wasn't enough time in the day to get everything in - I worked a very long day, and had to get rehearsal for the cabaret in. I also managed to pick up the last of the prizes, which was a relief. Rehearsal was stressful - I feel as though I have spent so much time on the planning and preparation that I haven't had time to focus on the music, which is what people are coming to see. I wish I was as confident in my musical ability as those people on American Idol who are HORRIBLE!!! But as stressed out as I was about the whole thing I also had a realization - I am doing this for an important cause, and the fact that I am doing it at all is really what I should be focusing on. I had to remind myself that this cabaret is not about me. It's about the cause. And I also had to remind myself that I am doing this for Bob and for Cody who are still fighting this disease. I can't live in the past thinking about mum and what I wish I had done. This is what I am doing now, and I can only live in the present. That's all I can do. One day at a time. One step at a time.